"I Want My Husband to Be the Spiritual Leader"

...that is a statement I've heard one too many times. I wish I could say I have the secret formula to make your husband the spiritual man of your dreams, but I don't. But I can offer some hope, encouragement and tips from the Bible.

A few weeks ago my husband had breakfast with another leader in our church. He was grateful that the man, old enough to be his dad, admitted to struggling with his walk with God. As the two of them kept discussing the issue of wives and women in general as they relate to God...they concluded that men are much weaker in this area. They weren't saying that every man struggles, but it seems that a vast majority do fail to have a consistent relationship with God.

If you see your husband not "measuring up", know that you are not alone, you don't measure up either and neither do I. Many men come to church trying to fool the best of us, but deep inside they know they aren't in relationship with God like they need to be. I know you are not alone because I know too many women who long for a dynamic Christian husband, one who stands by his convictions, or one that has convictions in the first place. They want a husband who will stand for what is right, care about truth, teach his children the ways of God, and so on. What they really want is to know that their husbands relationship with God is alive and well, because the fruit of that will be those things I just listed.

I have been fortunate to see ups & downs in my own husband. I can usually tell if he is growing towards the Lord or away from Him by the things that are coming out of his mouth. Listen to the things your husband is saying, decisions he is making, God may be doing more than you think. Just by his conversation it could clue you into ways you can pray for your husband. You are praying diligently for him, right?

One great tip from the Bible is this: Keep your mouth shut. Your nagging and whining will never help him be the man of God you desire. Pointing out what he is not doing right will never produce the results you are looking for, trust me, I've tried. Don't go out and buy a devotion book for the two of you to do together thinking this is going to be great! It may be great, but 9 times out of 10, he won't respond like your hoping. It won't drive him to his knees for powerful prayer times, it may drive him to God to complain about his authoritative wife though. If you want him to be the leader, stop leading. Focus on yourself, doing what God has said and worry about your own relationship with Jesus. It will free your husband up to become the leader. If he sees you leading, he won't have room to lead.

God requires this from you: "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior" I Peter 3:1-2. When people, husband or others, see the impact your relationship with Christ is having on you, they will want to know Him too.

Be in constant prayer that God would work in his heart, but step back and let God do that. It may take years for your husband to have a passionate walk with God, but your main objective should be to 1. Remain patient 2. Remain cheerful 3. Remain consistent yourself.

Beth Moore said it right in her Esther study, when we wait on a person or thing, we lose strength, but when we wait on God, He will renew our strength. She was so right about that. When we keep trying to manipulate our husbands into a relationship with God, we are only draining ourselves of strength. When we step back and change our focus and really wait on God to do His work in our man's life, we will have strength to live each day joyfully. Isaiah 40:28 & 31 says that the Lord does not grow weary or tired...and those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength. Let the ONE who has unending strength hold you up as you rest in His hands.

One final word, encourage your husband. Find ways to show your appreciation, pray from him fervently, and above all, live a life of genuine love and obedience in front of your husband. God bless.