Why Some Young Girls Dress Immodest

In my middle school small group last night, the girls were asked the question, "What controls you and why?"

The first answer we got was not what I was expecting or at least the explanation she offered the group.

"Boys," was the quick and short answer. When we dug into the "why" we heard this, "Because they make you wear inappropriate clothing or they won't like you."

My jaw dropped and the other teacher in our group quickly chimed in with, "Wait, they make you?"

I felt bad that we sort of attacked her thinking, but we were so shocked at how she viewed boys and the fact that she believed all boys want to see you immodestly dressed or they won't like you.

Do boys really have this power over girls? Obviously if this young 7th grader thought she had to dress in opposition to God's way, or be rejected by the male population, others think the same.

The desire is so great to be liked by a guy that they do indeed hold this sort of power, but my belief is that it is time to say "No way!" We need to really teach that God is the one we are to please and He wants us reserved for our husband only. Are we as mothers letting our girls believe this lie that boys won't like modest girls and let them dress "inappropriate" as this girl put it? The ironic thing is that she knew it was wrong to dress in a way that revealed her body for the world to see.

Maybe enough young men are not desiring a modest girl for their future. Part of this falls squarely on the shoulders of parents (like myself) that don't talk to our kids about these heart issues. I wish the young boys in middle school would start vocalizing that they want to keep their eyes pure and tell the girls that they are more respected for dressing modest. Parents, if you are reading this, let's start teaching this in our homes. It is not the church's job to set our kids straight, it is our job.

Parents, let's teach boys to not give attention to immodest girls, as hard as that may be. Don't let them train the young girls that they will only get attention and affirmation of any kind by dressing like that. I know that I will address this more boldly with my 13 year old son and teach my daughter, who is 1 yr. away from 7th grade, to know that the kind of guy she wants some day will be the one who thanks her for dressing in a godly way, even when young.

Somehow I want girls to change their focus from boys to Jesus...they have too many years til they can even get married to be in bondage to this wrong thinking.