"My Husband Looking at Pornography? No WAY!"

My heart was sad and burdened for a friend of mine as she sat across me over a freshly brewed cup of coffee. We started talking about struggles men have and out of the blue she spilled out...

"My husband used to have a problem with porn, he stopped for a while, but I think he's back into it, Dana. I should look and see, but I'm not sure I want to know the truth."

"NOT WANT TO KNOW?" I shouted in my head. For the sake of our kids around and not being the time for that conversation, I just encouraged her to see. Knowing is the first step in helping. She assured me she would check.

DENIAL "my husband, no way"
FEAR OF THE TRUTH
DENIAL "he's a godly man"
FEAR OF MY REACTION
DENIAL "I would know if he was into it"
FEAR OF WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT IF IT IS TRUE
DENIAL "If I don't find out, it will go away"

Pornography is no stranger to the church anymore. Sad, but true.

It is not something to be taken lightly either. If we love our husbands and are to be the helper God gave them, we need to know what secret sin may be there. We need to love our husbands enough to to broach the subject with them in a respectful way. Just ignoring that your husband may be viewing things that are an abomination to God, things that are not real, and flat out sin is not what I believe we are called to do.

Did you know that viewing pornography is much like taking a drug. There is a chemical reaction in the body and men begin to crave it more and more. Listen up here, they also crave more intense sexual things. If unchecked it leads to men finding the real thing. Adultery is on the path of pornography.

I don't write this because it is what I think. I know this to be true based out of my own life and missing things that my husband was doing. I had no idea of the ramifications that porn can have. He had no idea either til it was too late. (Side note: I loved my husband out of the addiction/adultery, I did not get angry, I chose love).

Some men enjoy it (porn). But there are those men who really do want out. They feel like slaves to the secret and slaves to the sin. Jesus is not in control, but in their hearts they know it is ruining them and their marriage and they wish the addiction would go away. They need the love and prayers and support of someone to pull them from the pit.

My friend was scared to know the truth. I hope she will face the truth. Sometimes it is not pretty, but necessary to accept before we can move on with getting help from the Lord. We should always welcome and accept the TRUTH. Truth sets us free, knowing and living in the truth is the only way to live.

If you read this and want to help your husband, please click on the link to email me. Another tool is to get a filter on your internet. You can even get one that is on the computer, not blocking thing, but you get a report each week of what searches and sites are visited. Covenant Eyes (check my sidebar for their site) is what I recommend for the accountability and/blocking and bsafe online is also recommended for the blocking of sites that are not good too.

Don't deny the truth, love your family, kids, Lord, your marriage and husband enough to make sure your husband is not a slave to pornography (online or any other form). It is never too late to help. Never.

God Bless and stay pure.