Do You Think Your Husband is a Jerk?

The more I have thought my husband was a jerk in the past, the more God showed me I was the jerk. Now there will be the case here and there when a husband will be downright cruel with a darling of a wife...I am not talking about them necessarily, but hear me out anyway.

I have always known and believed that wives need to be forgiving, kind, and submissive to their husbands. We are also to love them, even if we don't feel like it, love is not a feeling. It is a choice to obey God, regardless of the object of that love.

So if you and your spouse are in conflict all the time, what can you do? You may be thinking "Why should I be the one to be nice if he's not, he doesn't deserve it?" "Why should I change if he's the one with the problem?" Maybe you say, "When he starts treating me better, I will be able to be submissive to him, he just makes it so hard right now."

Let me tell you something, 1 Corinthians 11:9 says, "for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but [Gen 2:18] woman for the man's sake." I have learned from God that the woman does in most cases set the tone for the relationship, and the husband in most cases reacts to her behavior and attitude. That is just the truth, men are responders to our behavior. Women, out of obedience to God, we must be obedient and be respectful, submissive, appreciative, loving, and cheerful to our husbands. If you do those things, you can't help but to see a change in your husband over time, (sometimes overnight) and in your relationship too.

I have seen in my own life, when I changed my behavior and attitude about my husband amazing things happened. I have not always known WHY it worked? WHY is there such power in our lives to influence our husbands? It is the way God ordered the world. God is a God of order, we can live outside His order for our marriage when we don't obey God's Word, but we will reap the consequences. An awful marriage.

1 Peter 3:1 says, "In the same way, you wives, [Eph 5:22; Col 3:18] be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives."

****This is fascinating, later is verse 7, it gives instruction for the man to "likewise" live with your wife with understanding. Likewise assumes the wife is already doing her part. And the other neat thing, every time it mentions the husband loving the wife and treating her right (Ephesians, 1 Peter, Colossians, etc.) it FIRST instructs the woman to be respectful, loving and submissive. We cannot argue the Word of God. Let's look at God's order for our marriage. If this foundation is off, we will be off in our marriages.


1. God created man first.
2. God created woman to be the helper for the man.
3. When we treat our husbands like God wants, we will not be living with a stressful, angry, bitter, dejected man.
4. When we disrespect with attitude, talk rude, order around, not encourage him, criticize, resent him, be grumpy and/or nagging, we (wife) are out of order.
5. When we are out of order, our husband will also be out of order naturally.
6. Put yourself back in order with respect to how you treat your husband and he will be free to be the man in the position God purposed for him.
7. We bring so much frustration and anger to our husbands when we are not cheerful, helpful, and respectful women.
8. Look in the mirror and make the changes and you will have a kinder, gentler, more understanding husband.

How do I know this works?
Do you tell God, "Bless me and then I will obey you."
Do you tell your body, "lose weight and then I will exercise and eat right."
Do you tell your boss, "Pay me and then I will work for you."
Do you tell Jesus, "Show me heaven and then I will believe."
No, those statements are out of order.

Do you get the point, there is order to things. You tell your kids to obey and then they get rewarded with praise, because you are over your kids in authority. God tells us to obey and then He blesses fills us with joy afterward.


But you are not over your husband, sorry, that is not the way God ordered things. Accept it and just treat him right, even if he is the biggest jerk in the world. Why? Because that is only way to see the blessing of a great marriage. If your husband made changes and started treating you like a queen even if you were acting like spoiled child, you would never get it! You would never be satisfied and your heart would still be looking for the wrong thing. Look to please God, even with a jerk and just see what will happen.

This is not my way, it is God's way. Let today be a new start to the way you treat your husband, and may you be blessed.

Not Ashamed

Do you ever feel embarrassed or weird when you share about what Jesus did on the cross? Do you feel like an odd-ball? Do you just give it half the effort, or maybe none at all. Maybe you see the opportunities but you don't take them. You keep your mouth shut and leave it for someone else.

The Bible tells us that the message of: God's love coming down through Jesus, Jesus dieing for our sins and then our believing on Him, turning from our sin and following Him- that message has POWER. In fact, it is the only message that has the power to save people from eternal punishment in Hell. Hell is real, we need to remember that and people will go there.

In Romans 1:16, Paul said, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes".

More and more I hear people say they have never shared the message of Christ with anyone, they don't think they know how. ????? Know how? Anyone who is saved knows how they got that way. My thought is they are ashamed of the message. They are more worried about the image they hold, their reputation, the time they don't have to share it, the effort is just too much, the doubt that the person with respond favorably. The excuses go on.

If you are not active in your sharing and passing on the message of the cross, take some time and evaluate why. Are you lazy? Don't care? Ashamed?

The times are drawing near to the return of Christ, everyday is one day closer, don't be ashamed to speak the truth to people, you will be amazed at what God will do with 1 willing person. Thankfully Paul was not ashamed of the gospel, look at how it has gotten to me all these years later.